This Is One of the Hardest Things to Do
Over the past few weeks, we’ve discussed how life is a series of choices and how hard it can be to decide what to do first. I was already planning to talk more about how unexpected things can mess up our plans.
Earlier this week, I wrote in my journal about how the day had been both productive and unproductive. A lot got done, but much of it had to do with insurance.
This wasn’t what I had planned for the day, but it needed to be done.
My insurance agent had retired, and my policies were transferred to a large company where the service wasn’t good. I needed to find a new agent who could provide better service. Changing agents meant changing all my insurance policies, which turned into a time-consuming process.
It wasn’t that the time wasn’t well spent, because it was. Not having proper insurance comes with great risks. The problem was that it wasn’t what I wanted or planned to work on that day.
When unexpected things come up, it can be hard to decide what’s most important and needs your attention first.
Then another example happened a few days later.
My friend Shep and I meet online each week to hold each other accountable and help us be more productive. Just as our meeting was about to start, I received a text saying he was going to be a few minutes late.
That was not a problem, and I appreciated the fact that he let me know.
When he joined the meeting, he explained what had happened.
He had recently talked with an old friend he hadn’t seen in years. He learned that his friend was doing handyman work, and they talked about repairing a hole in a fascia board on Shep’s house. They agreed to have him do the work.
Then, unexpectedly, Shep received a message on the day of our meeting saying the handyman was on his way. At the time, Shep was visiting his brother, who lives in an assisted living home. They have a regularly scheduled time each week, and that time is very important to both of them.
Shep said that he originally tried scheduling the meetings with his brother randomly. More often than not, something else would come up, and he wouldn’t be able to make it. Eventually, he started scheduling the meetings on his calendar as recurring appointments.
So when his handyman friend messaged him, Shep told him that it would be a little while before he could get home. He could have left his visit with his brother early, but he chose not to.
His time with his brother was more important.
When Shep got home, the repairs were started but no one was there because the handyman had gone to get the materials. When he returned, Shep needed to be available to answer questions. By the time the work was finished, it was about fifteen minutes before our scheduled meeting.
Shep said that his handyman friend was a talker, and a conversation continued. I understand, I tend to be a talker myself!
All of this is to say that this unexpected repair threw a monkey wrench into Shep’s plans.
I told him I understood how easily plans can change. It is the same thing when working with multiple subcontractors and suppliers. Everyone has their own schedule, and it’s rare for them all to align. That makes it hard to keep projects on schedule. You have to decide what’s most important and move it to the top of the list.
This is what it means to be flexibly rigid.
As Shep and I talked through this situation, we agreed that some things would take priority over his time with his brother. For example, if he had received a call saying his wife had been in an accident, that would have taken priority over spending time with his brother.
Some things can be moved on the schedule, and some can’t. Unexpected things come up, and sometimes they need to take priority over everything else.
One of the hardest things to do is prioritize. Too often, we end up fighting the hottest fire right in front of us, even when it may not be the most important thing that needs our attention.
The key is being clear on what matters most and making decisions based on those priorities. You can’t control everything that comes up, but you can choose how you respond.
