The Most Important Question Always Seems to be the Last One Asked

That’s Because the Answer to the “How Question” is Going to Require Work

Last week I listened to a Belay, One Next Step podcast interview with David Horsager. David is the CEO of Trust Edge Leadership Institute and best-selling author of The Trusted Leader, The 8 Pillars of Trust. In this interview they discussed these 8 pillars and how to become a more trustworthy leader.

Everything of value is built on trust. You’ll pay more for a trusted brand, to follow a trusted leader or buy from a trusted salesperson.

Trust is the single most important trait of great leaders, organizations and brands.

These 8 foundational pillars of genuine success are:

1. Clarity: People trust the clear and mistrust the ambiguous.

2. Compassion: People put faith in those who care beyond themselves.

3. Character: People notice those who do what is right over what is easy.

4. Competency: People have confidence in those who stay fresh, relevant, and capable.

5. Commitment: People believe in those who stand through adversity.

6. Connection: People want to follow, buy from, and be around friends.

7. Contribution: People immediately respond to results.

8. Consistency: People love to see the little things done consistently.

As they went through these pillars David pointed out a simple three question process for putting these pillars into action. These questions are what helped David to lose 52 lbs. in five months and keep it off.

Here are the three most important questions to ask:

“Number one. “Okay. We want that thing.” How, how? Okay. Second question, way more important. It is, how? The third is the most important of all. It is, how?”

I’ve written several times about the importance of asking questions and the lack them being asked. I believe all questions are important and that they all work together to point to the desired results.

  • Who is that thing going to be done for?
  • What is that thing that I want or need to do?
  • When does that thing need to be done?
  • Where is that thing going to be done?
  • Why should that thing be done?
  • How am I going to do that thing?

Without answering the how question it won’t get done.

The how question needs to be actionable and one that we can be held accountable to.

Here is what David said about it,

My weight, everybody told me, “All you got to do is eat less, exercise more.” That was not clear enough. Okay. So I said, “Okay, how am I going to take in less calories?” Okay. Boom, boom, boom, boom. How, how, how, how. Until one of them was, “I’m not going to drink a calorie on a plane.” I can look at it. “Okay. Fresca instead of Coke.” I was drinking Cokes, bad. So now you sit next to me. I never, almost never have a calorie on a plane, unless I put a little cream in my coffee. So the how is something you can act on today or tomorrow. “I want to sell more.” “Okay. How are you going to do that?” “I’m going to call more people.” “Okay, great. How are you going to do that?” Basically, I’m just going to call more people.” “No, you’re not. You had that opportunity yesterday. How are you going to call more people?” “Well, I got to get a list.” “Okay. Now, how are you going to get a list?” “Okay. I’m going to do this.” Okay. “By tomorrow at 10:00 AM.”

It’s time from me to answer my how questions.

How will you answer yours?

What Does It Mean to Be Successful?

It’s Not What People Normally Think

Success, true success is anything but normal. Dave Ramsey says, “If You want to succeed, you’ve got to be weird.” It is hard to be different. Standing out and being different opens us up to criticism and ridicule. It’s much easier and safer to blend in and go with the flow. To just be normal.

God doesn’t want us to be normal. He made each of us different and unique (Psalm 139:14) and put each of us here for a specific purpose (Romans 8:28). It is up to us to search out and learn what our individual purpose is.

Discovering our true purpose is success.

Normally success is seen as fortune and fame. Even the definition of success includes, “The attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.” If we see these things as success and don’t accomplish them, we see ourselves as failures. We are only failures when we stop seeking our true purpose. So, we’ve got to hang in there.

The world’s idea of success is short sighted and selfish. It’s about what’s in it for me. God’s idea of success is different. It’s about using the skills and abilities I’ve been given to help others. Specifically, in my case, to help others build their dreams.

So, how do we figure out what our purpose is? First, ask that very question. What is my purpose? And then we ask it again and again… Asking the question is the first step to success. The question is more important than the answer. Asking this question is necessary to start. Then we can dig deeper with more questions. If we don’t ask questions we will stay stuck in the mundane routine of doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome.

These questions start with the most common question asked by kids…WHY.

Why am I here?

Somewhere along the way, in an effort to be normal, we quit asking why. As children we are naturally curious. If we want to be successful, we need to get back to that childlike curiosity.

The why question is where we dig down deep to find the solid foundation that our success will be built on.

After asking why, comes what, how, when, who, where. Asking these questions is hard. Almost as hard as reading the 5Ws out of their normal order. But then we are trying to be successful, not normal. The order I have them in is more appropriate when it has to do with success. The most important thing is to be intentional about asking questions in whatever order works. Asking questions opens our mind up to new ideas.

The answers to these questions won’t magically appear once they’ve been asked. Being successful and finding our purpose is not an end unto itself. Both are a process of seeking answers and should continue as long as we’re alive. There is not some point in life when we arrive at our final destination (like retirement). Success is the process of seeking our purpose and as long as we’re breathing, we should be asking questions.

DON’T BE NORMAL – BE SUCCESSFUL!