How We Deal with Suffering is a Decision That is Up to Us

It Helps a Lot When We Decide to NOT do it Alone

There is a lot of suffering out there, whether it’s illness, abusive relationships, someone taking advantage of someone else, or death. As hard as it is, these things are all a part of life.

It’s easy to get caught up in the struggle and pain of these situations. We wonder, why do these things happen. This is a question that we won’t be able to fully answer this side of eternity.

Even though there’s suffering, there are miracles happening around us every day.

It’s up to us to choose which we spend our energy focusing on.

A good example of this is the story of critical care surgeon Dr. Kathryn Butler.

She felt distant from God until she witnessed a medical miracle.

As she worked in the emergency room, she was treating a 22 year old man who had been bludgeoned with a baseball bat in his sleep. His wife, lying beside him, died during the assault and his four-year-old son witnessed everything.

Dr. Butler thrived on the urgency of the emergency room—the chaos, the opportunities to reach people in dire moments. Yet on this particular night she struggled to focus. She kept thinking of his four-year-old son in footed pajamas, and the images of brutality he might never forget.

While wrestling with these thoughts, paramedics rushed in with a 15-year-old boy dying from a gunshot wound. The bullet had torn open his aorta. He could not be saved.

While fighting back tears, her trauma pager went off again. Another 15-year-old boy. Another gunshot wound. This time, the bullet had struck the boy’s head.

The next morning, as she finished her shift, she wandered about as if lost. She despaired over how little life mattered to people. Each of her patients had suffered at the hand of someone who looked at him and saw no worth.

How could God allow such evil?

She had grown up as a nominal Christian. Her family observed certain Christian traditions, but never read the Bible or talked about the gospel together. She understood Christianity to be synonymous with good behavior.

After work, she drove for hours parking at a bridge that spanned the Connecticut River. She gripped the guardrail, tipping her face against the wind, breathed, and felt . . . nothing. She opened her mouth to pray, but no words came.

Doubt led to hopelessness, and hopelessness to despair. She dreamed of eternal sleep, of numbness, of annihilation. Thoughts of taking her own life troubled her daily. She fought the impulse to return to the bridge over the Connecticut River and jump over the railing. Only the love for her husband, Scottie, brought her home each evening.

Months later, Scottie lost his job. While she struggled with the problem of evil, he sought the church, understood the Word for the first time, and accepted Christ as his Savior. Scottie invited her to join him in worship, but she remained disillusioned. When she finally attended church to appease him, everything seemed awkward and foreign.

Later she transitioned to work in the ICU. Among her patients there was a middle-aged man who suffered cardiac arrest after a hip replacement. A lack of oxygen during the arrest had caused severe brain injury and neurologists predicted he would never recover.

The man’s wife and daughters would be at his bedside daily praying for a miracle.

One morning, the man’s wife was at his bedside, singing. As Dr. Butler approached his wife said, “I was praying and praying last night, and when I woke up, I knew everything would be fine. God told me he’s going to be just fine.”

Dr. Butler admired her conviction and her hope, especially since Dr. Butler had neither.

Yet her husband’s clinical data promised that everything would not be fine.

Over the next few weeks his wife continued to sing and pray. The medical staff struggled to conceal their worry. They would shake their heads and cast each other glances that said, “This is heartbreaking.”

One afternoon, he moved his toe. The doctor said, “I’m sorry, but it was probably just a reflex.

“No,” his wife insisted. “Watch.” She put a hand on his shoulder and shouted into his ear for him to wiggle his right big toe. He did.

The next day, he turned his head toward them. Then, he blinked on command. In two weeks, he was awake. In three, he sat in a chair.

At best, the neurologists had anticipated he might occasionally track moving objects. No one expected that his condition would so dramatically resolve.

Medical science could not explain his recovery.

Dr. Butler suspected she had witnessed a miracle. Yet, still wrestled with God. How could He bestow such blessings, yet allow suffering?

Dr. Butler’s husband continued to encourage her to read the Bible. So, she started with the Gospels, then Romans. As she read with a newly opened heart there was unveiled Christ’s love that she had never fathomed.

The agony He suffered for our sake. He had endured heartache and had confronted the face of evil. And He bore such affliction—our affliction—for us. Romans 5:1–8 revealed the awesome magnitude of God’s love for us.

He knows suffering.

The Lord took away Dr. Butler’s despair and fashioned a canvas for His perfect work in her. Just as Christ raised Lazarus so that others might believe, so he redeems suffering—the gunshot wounds, the mourning, the lost jobs, the despondency beside bridge railings—for his glory.

In his mercy, he descends to buoy us up, and to complete miracles we cannot comprehend. He pours blessings upon us every day, but also the hard nights, and every breath in between.

What’s important to remember is that we don’t have to go through these difficulties alone. There is God, family and friends to help us through.

It’s up to us to believe.

Suffering Has Always Been a Part of Life

What Are You Going to Do About It?

Suffering and perspective have been a common theme over the past several weeks. It started with the importance of making every day a day of thanksgiving. There’s no question that there’s suffering in the world. It’s been this way since Adam and Eve were removed from the Garden.

Looking back through history at things people have had to endure is easy to read or talk about, but we can’t really compare our current situations to those. We haven’t had to wander around in the wilderness for 40 years with no place to call home. Or be imprisoned in a concentration camp because of our religion. Or lived in a sod house without any electricity, water, central HVAC, and not being able to go to the store to get food.

Sure, there are things every day that are difficult, but we’ve become spoiled!

Doug Miller presented the message Sunday in Pastor Lee’s absence. The point of his message was one of hope, support, and perspective. If anyone can speak to suffering, it’s the Miller family. They dealt with the death of both a mother and a daughter within a week in December. You can see the heart felt message here.

Of course, we want a world without suffering but that’s not going to happen. Doug pointed out that they’re doing okay because of being supported by family, friends, and prayer.

Support of family and friends is critical to well-being.

They found blessings in part because they were looking for them. Looking for this support started long ago being raised in the family and church that they were. All along the way decisions were being made that lead to this place. The decisions we make today will have consequences in the future.

Choose your friends well. Life is hard, but it’s harder if you try to go it alone.

This also means that we need to be willing to be good friends, because there’s always a need for good friends. You can choose your friends. You can choose to be a friend. You can choose how you will deal with life’s difficulties.

You can choose!

We Want a World Without Suffering

There is No Such Thing, This Side of Heaven

There is no question that the world has plenty of examples of suffering. Why, we ask, would a loving God permit pain and suffering? Ultimately, this is a question that you will have to ask Him.

Suffering is critical to us becoming who we’re meant to be.

If everything was easy, we would not be able to accomplish all that we are supposed to. Nature is full of examples of this.

When a baby giraffe is born it falls 4’-5’ feet to the ground. Then as it is trying to get up the mother kicks it, again and again. Working through this struggle the baby giraffe learns to get up. In a matter of hours, it’s prepared for lions, hyenas and wild dogs.

Or, what about butterflies pushing to get out of the cocoon they find themselves wrapped up in. We’ve all heard about someone helping a butterfly with this process and then the butterfly’s ends up being too weak to fly.

We are no different. Sure, it would be nice if we didn’t have to suffer, but this would leave us weak and unprepared for life. Suffering makes us stronger.

While everything else follows its instincts and does what comes naturally…we humans think and think and think… Rather than embracing the struggles and learning and growing, we want things to be easy. We think we know better than God how things should be.

Easy leads to a life void of meaning.

In Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he outlines his theory of logotherapy. Logotherapy says, “The primary motivational force of an individual is to find meaning in life.” This theory helped him to survive his Holocaust experience. Being in a concentration camp as a Jew…that’s real suffering.

Frankl says there are three things needed to experience a life of meaning:

  • Finding a worthwhile project to work on and working on it
  • Understanding suffering and viewing it from a productive perspective
  • Working through life’s challenges with other people

Too much of the time people drift through life accepting things as they are rather than doing something about them. We have more control than that. Sure, there are things that happen that are out of our control but, we have way more control than we choose to believe.

God knew what he was doing when He created the world. He knew we would need help, so He sent Jesus. Include Jesus in your group when you’re working through life’s challenges.

We can choose to embrace life’s difficulties and be stronger…or not!