This Can Be Hard to Do
I was asked to write an article for the July edition of Niccie Kliegl’s As For Me and My House Magazine. This online magazine features articles focused on House, Marriage, Parenting, Finances, Health, and Community. I’ve written three previous articles—one on finance and two on houses—which fit well with my construction-focused business.
But this time, I was asked to write about marriage…
That felt a little scary.
As I thought about the topic—and about some of the mistakes I’ve made in my own marriage—I realized that most of those mistakes came down to one common problem: being out of balance. Spending too much time and energy on the business, and not enough on my marriage.
My life was out of balance.
But what does a balanced life really mean?
Often the word balance creates the picture of weighing two separate things and trying to get the weight to match. But in life, there’s a lot more than two things fighting for our attention.
Life balance is a lot more complex than a 50/50 split.
So how do we find that balance?
We tend to be binary thinkers. We assume things have to be one way or the other, ignoring the nuances and complexities of life. But that kind of thinking doesn’t work well in balancing your life.
Sure, sometimes there are only two choices. When choosing between right and wrong or good and evil, I believe this is the case. But most of life? It’s lived in the middle. And if we only see two options, we’ll stop trying to find balance altogether.
For example: one spouse is upset because the other is working too much. The one working sees that time as necessary to pay the bills and take care of the family. But they also know they can’t spend as much time at home as they do at work. So they throw up their hands and say, “There’s no way to make this work, so why even try?” And the imbalance stays.
Merriam-Webster has an extensive definition of balance that covers people, weight, stability, accounting, mental and emotional wellbeing. But the image I go back to is this:
A large platform, centered and balanced on top of a single, small point.
When nothing is on the platform, it stays level. If you place one thing near the center, it stays relatively level. But as more and more things are piled onto the platform—and things begin to move away from the center—the imbalance starts. The load gets heavier in different areas, and the platform begins to lean. One heavy thing (or too many smaller things) can cause the whole platform to tip in that direction. If it leans too far, things will fall off. So, keeping things on the platform is all about weight and location.
Our lives are like that platform. God sets it perfectly on the point and gives us the responsibility of keeping it there. The hard part? The sheer number of things we could pile on our platform. The choices are endless. Whether it’s spiritual, family, work, friends, fun, community, and so on. Some things carry more weight than others. And as we go through life, the things we have on our platform will and should change.
Finding and maintaining balance is our responsibility.
Will we be perfect at it?
No.
Can we learn and get better?
YES!
Balancing your life is one of the foundational blocks in BUILDing the life of your dreams:
- BE AWARE of when you’re out of balance.
- UNDERSTAND what imbalance looks like and that you can do something about it.
- Take INTENTIONAL ACTON to restore balance in your life. You have to do something if you want things to change.
- LEARN new and different ways to keep your life centered.
- Find balance and it will put you on the path to your DREAM life.
And I can tell you this:
My marriage is much better now because my life is balanced!
