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How to Achieve Your Desired Life Results

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Not to be Confused with Goal Setting

 

 

I think most of the time goal setting is seen the same way as budgeting – restricting, confining, controlling, restraining, and limiting. This is the opposite of how either should be seen.

 


Both should serve as a plan for intentionally building the life of your dreams.


Do you have a plan for what you want your dream life to be? I bet you do, we all do. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we choose to ignore these dreams, to push them down and forget them. Maybe it’s because we’ve had our dreams shattered or after years of waiting, we just gave up. Whatever the reason, you can decide to make that dream a reality or give up on it.

 


I remember years ago, before I knew about Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University, I didn’t like the idea of budgeting. I thought it would keep me from being free to spend money or have fun. Then after going through the class and beginning to budget, I found it to be the opposite. I then had a plan for spending, it gave me more freedom than I had before. Budgeting actually gave me more control of my money.


Goal setting can give you more control of your life.


Our perception of words is part of the problem. We connect our own experiences with words which creates our own individual perspective. Goals is one of those words. Like budgeting, goals can feel constraining. Like budgeting, the opposite is the case.

 

 


Look at the negative, comedic way New Year’s resolutions are viewed. This is a good example of how the lack of intentionality is misleading. When we get caught up in the rhetoric we will just float through life without a plan. If we don’t bother to dig down and build our lives on a solid foundation, we will be blown in whatever direction the wind blows us.

 


A goal is a desired result. A desired result sounds good.


I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t want to achieve their desired results. If we are to live this life we have been given to the fullest, we need to be intentional to do all that we can to achieve the results God has planned for us.


 

Another problem with goal setting is that it can become overwhelming. Most of us have way more dreams and goals than we can ever get done. We built this mountain of things that we want to do. We’re the ones who let it get this big and we’re the ones who can make it smaller. To keep it from feeling so daunting we need to focus on one shovel full at a time rather than the whole thing.


We can’t blame anyone but ourselves for the size of our mountain.

 

It’s also important to remember that if we always set our goals small, we will never grow. We need to be growing and learning all the time. If your goals are always reached, then they aren’t big enough.

 


God has put a life dream in each of us. If we want to achieve it, we need to plan it. It doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is that you do it. The mountain can be moved, it isn’t too big.


What matters is to align our plan with God’s and start shoveling.

What Is the Most Important Journey?

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That Would Be the Journey of Salvation

Life’s journeys can be hard, some harder than others.

In the 1065 Henry IV became king at the young age of 15. His lack of experience and wisdom at this young age including dealing with various rebellions found him in a difficult time.

One of these conflicts involved the church and Pope Gregory VII. Pope Gregory VII asserted that the College of Cardinals could appoint popes, bishops and other high-ranking church officials. These positions came with income producing lands and other perks. This caused a power struggle between the Emperor and the church.

In 1076 the young Emperor was excommunicated by Pope Henry and the bishops. Being excommunicated meant that the Emperor was banned from the church and taking communion. In the middle ages this was like closing the door to Heaven.

Following the suggestion his adversaries, the young Emperor decided to meet with the Pope at the castle in Canossa. This journey through the Alps in the middle of winter is known as the “Road to Canossa” or the “Humiliation of Canossa”.

Once the Emperor reached the castle, the Pope refused him entry. Henry IV stood outside the castle gate for three days bare footed wearing nothing but a hair-shirt (traditional monk’s robe). Finally, on January the 28th Henry was allowed to enter. That evening the Pope and the Emperor shared communion signaling the end of the excommunication.

Another hard life journey.

Jesus’ also had a hard journey, it included four stops along the way. The first was in the Garden of Gethsemane where he prayed to have this suffering taken away. He knew how hard the was going to be. The second stop was Gabbatha. Otherwise known as the place where Jesus stood trial in front of Pontius Pilot. Third is Galgotha, the place where He was crucified. The great thing is that the journey doesn’t stop here. The final place is the garden tomb where Jesus was buried. This is where His journey ends and ours begins.

Our journey to salvation is much easier than these. Jesus did the hard part. All we have to do is believe, get on and enjoy the ride. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be rough places along the way, but it’s much easier with Jesus showing us the path. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 tells us about the journey.

It’s definitely a trip worth taking.

Principles Are Like A GPS For Life

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They Help Us Get Where We Want to Go

Making our way through the difficulties of life can be hard. There are bumps, unexpected turns, detours and road blocks. When we start the journey, we think we know exactly where we’re going and how we’re going to get there. Surprise!

If we just had a map and GPS for this road trip called life it would be so much easier. Well what do you know…we do. Life’s map is the Bible and the GPS is our core values and principles.

When we pick up a map for the first time, we don’t understand everything about it. The more we study and use the map to get us where we’re going, the better we get at making the trip. The Bible is the same.

We all have core values and principles whether we know it or not. Like a GPS in our car or smart phone if we aren’t aware of it or don’t put in the coordinates it won’t help us get where we want to go.

Core values are the foundation on which we conduct ourselves. In an ever-changing world – core values are consistent. They underlie our work, how we interact with others, and help us to fulfill our mission. A principle is the fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. Once we become aware of these core values and principles…99% of our decisions are already made.

This week’s Scripture (road map), Luke 6:27-38, has always been hard for me to fully understand. It talks about loving your enemies, letting them slap you on both cheeks, giving them your coat and your shirt, giving things to them and not asking for them back. It says love your enemies and do good to them. I always felt that I had treated others the way I wanted to be treated. What I figured out from this week’s sermon was that I never really have had to deal with an “enemy”.

When Pastor Lee told a story of a Michael Weisser a Jewish Rabbi who in 1991 was harassed in Lincoln, Nebraska, by Mr. Trapp, a Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, the meaning of the word enemy took on a whole new meaning. After getting hateful phone calls, Rabbi Weiser turned things around by calling Mr. Trapp and harassing him back with love. One day the Weisser’s phone rang and it was Mr. Trapp. He said, ‘I want to get out of what I’m doing and I don’t know how’. This is how you’re supposed to love your enemies.

I’ve never experienced someone treating me like this. I hope that if I do, I will be able to “love my enemy” this way.

When people filled with hate haven’t found their life road map and GPS, they don’t understand when they are confronted with love. The best way to help them is to “Love Them Until They Ask Me Why”.

Living Life Well Is All About Perspective

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What Ever Your Situation – Attitude Makes All the Difference

Perspective is “a particular way of viewing things that depends on one’s experience and personality”. Our individual perspective effects every part of our lives. It’s up to us to decide how we are going to view things.

As a part of preparing for the new year, I reviewed the past one. In many aspects this past year was a dismal failure. Revenue was considerably less than our target. It was even less than the previous several years. We didn’t get anywhere near the blog traffic that we planned to. It would be easy to focus on those negative things and let them become my perspective.

At the same time there were several positive things that happened during the past year. While the financial numbers were down, we paid off more debt than any previous year. My goal was to write and post at least one solution each week and I did.

Years ago, I would have fixated on the negative and not seen the positive. This disappointment would have been the way I viewed things. This unproductive attitude would have been blocking my moving forward to bigger and better things. This was not any way to live life well.

At a point nine or ten years ago, I decided I was tired of living in this negative funk. There was no one specific thing that caused this shift, but rather a collection of small things. They consisted of reading, learning, journaling, praying and believing. Over those years I didn’t realize the difference that was happening but now looking back I can see and feel a major difference.

We have the power to choose what our attitude is going to be. With this power we can change our perspective. The 5th Decision in The Traveler’s Gift is, “Today I Will Choose to be Happy”. In this Joyful Decision, Anne Frank says, “Our very lives are fashioned by our choice. First we make choices. Then our choices make us.”

I’m not saying that it’s some easy flip a switch kind of magic. It’s hard work, but worth it. If you fall down, you get back up. When you fall down the next time you get back up again. We’ve all seen kids learning to walk. They don’t try it once, fall down, and never try again. They’re persistence is what makes it happen. They keep trying over and over, one small step at a time, until they succeed. They don’t give up.

With it being the New Year many of the blogs and podcasts that I follow have focused on planning and goal setting. One of those was Ray Edwards interviewing Cliff Ravenscraft about how to make our resolutions stick. In the interview they talk about how we may not have control over the circumstances, but we always have control over how we will choose to respond or what actions we will take. To make this point they use Nick Vujicic as an example of perseverance. He was born with no arms or legs and has achieved and accomplished more things than most people. If you feel that you had a rough year and things didn’t go like you had planned, you need to quit whining and watch these videos.

Perseverance.  The story of Nick Vujicic

If we keep moving forward and continue getting back up after we’re knocked down anything is possible…just ask Nick.

nick vujicic on OPRAH SHOW

I will persist without exception.

How to Live A Well-Balanced Life

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Finding and Maintaining the Balance in Everything

 

I initially wrote about Using Core Values as My Life Filter last year. The focus of that post was the importance these CORE VALUES have in providing me with insight to who I am and more importantly, who I aspire to be. In that post I listed these twelve core values and said I would write about each in later posts.


Currently have written about:

• Honoring God in all that I do
• Paying attention to detail
• Spending time wisely
• Never being satisfied with mediocrity
• Taking off the blinders and being more aware
• Intentional action and again

Today’s core value is FINDING AND MAINTAINING THE BALANCE IN EVERYTHING.

I listened to a Story Brand podcast recently in which Tim Arnold’s point was that tension was a better description of this value than balance. He points out that “we tend to be binary thinkers. We assume things have to be one way or the other”. This was his point about the term balance when used in this context. Often the word balance creates the picture of an instrument with two sides used for weighing.

Sometimes there are only two choices. When choosing between right and wrong or good and evil, I believe this is the case. I agree with Tim that too often we tend to stop our thinking at only two choices and miss all of the out of the box opportunities that are out there.

I see balance as something that involves a lot more than two things.

The Merriam-Webster definition of balance is extensive and covers a variety of different areas including people, weight, stability, accounting, mental and emotional. This is more the way I think of balance.

I see BALANCE as large platform sitting centered on top of a small point. Without anything on the platform, it sits level. When one thing is placed on top of the platform near the center, things go pretty well, and it stays relatively level. As more things are put on the platform and things begin to be crowded from the center it starts to get heavier at different areas. This causes the platform to lean. If one heavy thing or too many things are moved too far from the center the platform will tip far enough that things falls off. Keeping things setting on the platform is all about weight and location.

Our lives are like this platform. God has set our platform balance perfectly on this point and given us the responsibility of keeping it there. The difficult part of this obligation is the number of things we get to choose from to put on our platform. The choices are endless. There is spiritual, family, work, friends, fun, community, etc. and each of these areas are full of an endless number of specific things that we can put on our platform. Some things carry more weight than others. As we go through life the things we have setting on our platform will and should change.


FINDING AND MAINTAINING THE BALANCE of our platform is the responsibility given us. Will we be perfect at it…no. Can we learn and get better at it…YES!

Whether you use the word balance, tension or something else to describe this endeavor is less important than being aware of it and actively keeping your platform as level as you can.

The Importance of Intentionality for Building Your Dream Life

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Because It Isn’t Going to Magically Build Itself

For years people have asked me where I came up with the business system and procedures that I use. As I thought about it, I realized that my business and life had been developing for years without much intentionality.

After my accident in 2012 it caused me to think about what my life was and what I had expected it to be. Not that my life was terrible before, it just wasn’t what I had envisioned it to be. I had been living without a clear plan and there was so much more that I wanted to accomplish.

At that point I decided to become more intentional. I’ve always been a planner but it’s sad that it took a hit in the head for me to realize the importance of being intentional about the plan.

When we’re young the tendency is to think that we’ll have all the time we need. There’s no hurry to plan for the future…we’ll get around to that someday. Then one day we wake up and realize life is flying by and we haven’t done all those things we wanted to.

 

You don’t have to wait until you’re smacked in the head to become intentional.

 

While explaining my business operating system to my team, it became evident that even though I now have an intentional plan, it needed to be written down. When working alone, I would just do the next thing that needed done. I didn’t need a written plan, so I thought. Not only do I need a written plan to communicate to my team, but it helps me to be clearer.

Think of your life or business as a construction project. It all begins with a dream. You can see the vision of the completed project in your mind. The tricky part is getting that dream out of your head and making it a reality? Having it drawn out will let you see if it looks like your dream or not. It’s better and easier to make changes and corrections during the planning, rather than the construction. It improves the clarity of communication between all parties involved.

It’s also a good idea to have the help of a professional when drawing out your plans or building your dream. Their experience, knowledge and skill, can save you time and money. Done well, it will make the entire process more enjoyable.

In last week’s post, it once again was reinforced how important intentional planning for the future is and how rarely it is done.

Having a clear picture of what it is that you want your life or business to look like when you’re finished building it, takes intentionality.

Be intentional.


Don’t wait to be smacked in the head to get intentional about planning for the future. Let me know what areas you need some help with planning or building the life or business of your dreams

Retirement Should Not Be Your Goal in Life

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Enjoy the Life You Have Now with Reason and Purpose

 

I hear a lot of talk about retirement. It seems the closer I get to 60, the more it’s a topic of conversation. This is the problem with having so many ‘old friends’. I regularly get things in the mail from the Social Security Administration or AARP. This has to be a mistake. These things are meant for old people, not me. They must have the wrong address.

Most people seem to be looking forward to retirement. Often, it’s viewed as the target that we should be aiming at. Once we’ve reached retirement, everything is smooth sailing from there. We can sleep in, don’t have to get up and go to a JOB; no more rat race for us. I’ve worked hard my whole life and now I get the ‘retirement prize’.

I think this attitude about retirement is not only wrong, but misleading.

This perception causes us to focus on the wrong thing. It puts the emphasis on the pie in the sky future, rather than where it should be – living everyday of our lives to its fullest, while living out our purpose.

Don’t take this wrong. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t retire. I don’t even care if you do it when you’re 35. What I am saying is that it’s not a very good plan to make retirement your goal in life. You need be intentional and consider what it is that you want out of life and start living accordingly now.

Where did this idea for retirement come from anyway? That at some point in life (to be determined by someone else) you will reach the time to quit working (maybe receive a stipend from the government) and start enjoying life.

As is the case with most things, it’s origin had merit and reason. Historically, most people were forced to work for a ruler, required to serve a king or had mandatory employment to some dictator. This gave little or no freedom for personal choices or for the opportunity to live the life of your dreams. Retirement, as it is most commonly thought of today, can be traced to a program designed by Otto von Bismarck, a German Chancellor, in 1881 https://www.ssa.gov/history/age65.html. He felt that people who had spent most of their lives working with little or no choice, deserved to be cared for once they were no longer able to produce.

In most countries where retirement is a part of the culture today, people aren’t forced to work a job that they don’t want to. We have the freedom to pick and choose our vocation. However, much of the time people forget they have this freedom. It is as if they are still living in one of those situations and working for some overbearing ruler.

I think this is the core of my feelings about retirement. Things have gradually shifted from the freedom to do the work you want, to working for a dictator named Retirement. Retirement has become the carrot dangling at the end of the stick; the reason people work.

Just know that you have options; lots and lots of options. Don’t live for retirement but live the life you want. Make the choices now. Live the life of your dreams. The life that you were put here to live.

Early retirement, late retirement or work until the very end…you choose.

Running a Good Race Is the Best Way to Live Life

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7 Examples of How Auto Racing Teaches Great Life Lessons

 

I love motor sports, especially NASCAR. The roar of an internal combustion engine that can I can hear all the way down in my chest. The aromatic smell of burnt racing fuel mixed with tire rubber. Ah…the great outdoors.

It is March and the NASCAR season is just getting started. This caused me to think about how life is like racing. Even if you aren’t a race fan I think you’ll appreciate the similarities in racing and life.

 

1. Life goes by like a car at 200 MPH –  

It is common to have a conversation about how fast time goes by or how much of what we had planned didn’t get done. Just like in a race if we don’t ease up on the accelerator going into a corner, it’s likely there will be a crash. The same thing is true in life. We need to know when to stop pushing so hard.

 

2. You need the help and support of a pit crew – 

None of us can go through life without the help of others. Sure, some people are more ‘hermit’ than others, but even they need help and support if they want to win the race. We race much better and faster when we have someone else putting fuel in and changing the tires. Our pit stops would be a lot slower if we had to get out and do it ourselves and not as much fun either.

3. The importance of a pit stop for refueling and fresh tires –  

When someone loves what they do as much as I do, it can be hard to slow down long enough to take a pit stop. I just want to keep driving and driving. We’re made in God’s image and His plan is to stop every seventh lap for tires and fuel. If we don’t take some breaks, eventually we run out of fuel and we can’t win our race that way.

 

4. Every driver has their own individual driving style –  

Some drivers are aggressive, some are more patient. Different styles work better at different times in different races on different tracks. The important thing is to know your style, how it works and when to use it. Often people don’t take the time to understand their own strengths and weaknesses and how they can help or hurt in the race of life.

 

5. There are different tracks throughout the racing season –  

The NASCAR season is made up of a variety of sizes, styles and configurations of tracks. Life is also full of different and changing situations. Sometimes we find ourselves on a high banked, high speed superspeedway. Other times we are on a short, tight track where there is a lot of bumping and banging. Or maybe it is a slower, winding, right and left turning road course. The important thing is to excel at the times in life where we are good and to survive the others.

 

6. Being aware of the clock –  

Time is speed, but speed is not always the fastest time. There have been many times when I have seen drivers slow down their MPH and have ran a faster time. This seems counter to what one would expect. In these cases, what happens is that the car isn’t sliding through corners as much. This same thing can happen to us. Sometimes if we slow down a little we are more productive.

 

7. Sometimes wrecks are our fault and sometimes we get caught up in someone else’s –

When there are thirty or forty cars all on the same race track it is inevitable that cars are going to wreck. Whether it is a mechanical problem or a driver’s error, it is going to happen. In life the same thing can be expected. Sometimes we are going to make mistakes that will cause us and maybe other people damage. Because we aren’t on the track alone, sometimes we find ourselves in a situation that is no fault of our own.

 

In Hebrews 12:1, we are encouraged to follow Jesus’ and other great people’s examples, to “…run the race that is before us and never quit. We should remove from our lives anything that would slow us down and the sin that so often makes us fall.”, ERV.

Run your race well.

Using Core Values as My Life Filter

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The Core Is What Holds All of the Good Stuff Together

I have been studying and researching for the past several years on how to be the best ME. To become who God intends ME to be. As a part of this quest, I have been working on designing and living a life plan. This life plan is changing, improving and getting better each year. I will continue to improve on it for the rest of my life. My life plan helps give me clarity and direction on how I should live my life.

As a part of my life plan I have what I call my life filter. This filter consists of my priorities (God, spouse, kids, etc.) and my twelve core values. This is what I use to determine which things I should and shouldn’t do. Not everyone’s core values will be the same. It is up to you to decide what yours are.

Core values are fundamental beliefs. They are your guiding principles. The definition of CORE is – the central or most important part of something. This is the most inner part of who you are. This is like your conscience. The deep down, on the inside, who God made you to be. VALUES are – the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something; a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life. This is the part that you choose. How you want to be, how you will treat others, etc. This doesn’t mean they have to be good. Some people’s values may be selfish or greedy, but regardless, we choose what values we will live by.

My core values are a collection of things that I’m naturally good at and some things…not so much. Things that I’m constantly working to get better at. They’re all things that are in alignment with what I believe God wants from me and for me.

My Core Values, other than  the first one, are in no significant order. Some you may recognize as quotes or common sayings. Others are things that I have modified in some way that is meaningful to me and some I conceived on my own. All of them are values I hold high and am striving to live out daily. Here they are:

  1. Honor God in all that I do
  2. Pay attention to detail
  3. Spend time wisely, there is a limited amount
  4. Never be satisfied with mediocrity
  5. Find and maintain the balance in everything
  6. Move the mountain one shovel full at a time
  7. Remember that I have two ears and one mouth
  8. Avoid drama
  9. Be accountable
  10. Take off the blinders, be more observant
  11. Make all I can, Save all I can, Give all I can
  12. Intentional action

In future blogs I plan to break down each of these core values and give you more insight into what they mean to me and how I try to live them daily. Let me know if any of these resonate with you or what some of yours are.

How to Get Your Puzzle Pieces to Fit

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Easing the stress of being too busy         

 

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This morning as I was posting in my journal I started thinking about all of the things that I didn’t get done yesterday. Then I began to think about how many times I have posted this same thing over and over. It sure seems that I spend way too much time feeling overwhelmed and behind. I really want to get more done! Then I thought about all of the times that I’ve had this same conversation with other people. “How is your day going? Man I am so far behind I don’t think I will ever get caught up. I sure wish there were more hours in the day.” I have heard these or similar comments more times than I can count. Our lives can feel like a 20,000-piece jigsaw puzzle was dumped out in front of us with no picture of what it is supposed to look like when it’s done.

So how can we get all of these pieces to fit…or can we? This is the big question. It would be nice to know what the finished puzzle is supposed to look like. This puzzle can be tough and frustrating. I think it is especially difficult for those of us who are ‘recovering perfectionists’. We want all of the pieces to fit just right. To know ahead of time exactly where each piece is supposed to go. This particular puzzle, called life, doesn’t work like that.

 

Here are some reasons we struggle with our puzzle and some ideas to help us get our pieces to fit.

We pick up too many pieces by over scheduling. There are so many pieces that we want to put in the puzzle. Some more important than others. We start out by picking up all of the pieces we can. More pieces than we could possibly put in the puzzle today and then what do we do…try to pick up a few more. I know for me, if I don’t start the day with more pieces than I will be able to use, I naturally slow down. I put in less pieces than I would otherwise. What I have to remember is that every day I am going to have pieces left over and that’s okay. The key is to be intentional. Start with the corner pieces. Put in the most important pieces first.

The puzzle isn’t going together as fast as we want. Sometimes (most times) things just take longer than we think. We think, hey it won’t take more than an hour or two to put all of these pieces in. Then after working on this for a while, we realize we were trying to force pieces to fit in the wrong place. So we take a deep breath and start again. This time putting them where they belong. Maybe we didn’t allow enough time to do it. We thought we could put in a piece every minute to only find out that it took longer than that. Oh, and don’t even get me started on interruptions and distractions. It can really slow things down when somebody throws their pieces in the middle of ours. We need to do as much planning and preparation as we can before we start, but remember to not over plan. Spread the pieces out, find the edge pieces and get started.

With so many pieces in front of us we lose our focus. After we have put all of the edge pieces in place we are feeling pretty good. Then we look at all of the pieces that are left and aren’t sure where to start. We look at these pieces and then at those…which ones should we do first? This is when we just need to pick a piece. It doesn’t matter which one. Just pick one. Then start looking for one that looks like it will connect to it. If it doesn’t then try the next one and the next one. Keep going one piece at a time until you find a piece that fits. Then do it again and again. Before you realize it you look up and there are a bunch of pieces hooked together and a picture beginning to take shape. We need to remember that we can only put one piece in at a time. Concentrate on that one. If it doesn’t fit, then pick up a different piece and focus on it.

Life is a puzzle. What really makes this puzzle fun and exciting is that while we are putting our puzzle together other people are putting theirs together and their puzzle is connected to ours.

 

What struggles have you had or tricks have you found while working on your puzzle?